In its broadest sense, psychotherapy is a professional relationship that focuses on helping people solve the problems they experience in life in order to build the life they want. It is a process by which people strive to create change to alleviate psychological pain and improve the quality of their life.
People seek therapy for a myriad of reasons. For instance, they may struggle to make an important decision, have recently lost a loved one, suffer from an addiction, have been the victim of a recent or past trauma, want to improve their relationship with their spouse, recognize their relationship with food or weight or appearance is burdensome. They may be unclear about their sense of identity, experience overwhelming fear, want to understand something about themselves, or realize they are stuck in a pattern of living that doesn’t work, among many other reasons.
While there are many types of psychotherapy, there are several things that all psychotherapies have in common. First, in order for therapy to start in earnest the person seeking therapy and the therapist need to determine whether it will be a good fit for both. Both need to feel as if they can invest time and energy in the work of therapy. Both need to come to some mutually agreed upon goals and have a good sense of the purpose of the work. Both need to have agreement on the method of the therapy so that the person seeking therapy has a basic understanding of what to expect. Both need to agree on the terms of the work like scheduling, length of sessions, fees, and any other practicalities. And, both need to agree upon what success will look like once the purpose has been accomplished. A mutually agreed upon direction for the work gives the therapeutic relationship a purpose and builds hope.
Second, all good psychotherapists work toward understanding the experiences of the person they are helping. Empathy, which is the ability to imagine the world from another’s perspective and then to react to that perspective with care and concern, is a cornerstone in therapy. The person seeking therapy should feel that the therapist listens well and understands them accurately and deeply. The therapist’s efforts to empathize creates the foundation for the relationship between the therapist and the person seeking help.
Third, the person seeking therapy and therapist both understand that the therapist has an expertise they will use to be helpful. Once therapy is underway, there are any number of methods, principles, and techniques the therapist may employ. The field of psychology is so broad that therapy can be conducted in multiple ways. Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor and a good therapist will work in a unique way with each person based on their needs.
Fourth, therapy results in growth and progress toward the goals of therapy. One of the most important aspects of therapy is that after discussing many parts of life with the therapist, people often realize that they see their life in new ways. What seemed to have been hidden to them previously is now clear. This newfound clarity allows people to make new choices about how they want to live their life. They become unstuck and move forward.
Finally, once a person has worked through the dilemmas for which they sought therapy, there is usually a period of reflection to take stock of the progress. When the person is comfortable with their growth and the therapist concurs, this piece of work is completed.
Interestingly, research shows that the benefits of certain kinds of therapy persist past the end of therapy and that people continue to improve their lives. Ultimately, the goal of therapy is to help people to understand their own personality, how they relate, and many parts of their life in such a way that they use the insights they learned in therapy to continue to build the life they want.